A Cat in the Hall

I’m not a boy who goes to the mall
I’m just a little cat who hangs out in the hall
My ears may be brown and my head’s kind of small
But I’m still just a cat who hangs out in the hall.

My tail is made of rabbit fur, hay, and old shoes
When I play Uncle Wiggily, I never lose
My cousin likes to stay up late at night and sing the blues
But when she does, I don’t stay there ‘cuz I’ll drink up all the booze.

To eat, I have to beg; sometimes I have to steal
But I never went a day without eating every meal.
No one ever blamed me for having too much sex appeal.
I don’t know many people, and those I know, they aren’t real.

Imaginary friends, I guess, are just my lot
They never ask to borrow money, and they never smoke my pot
I dance around from here to there, and talk to my robot
Oh look now, here he comes. Let me introduce you lot.

Robbie, this is Buttons; Buttons this is Rob.
You can call him Robert, or you can call him Bob.
Don’t expect him to be chatty—today he’s on the job.
Oh Rob, wait a second, don’t get all angry, we just wanted to ask you a few questions!

So that’s the long and short of it, I guess I’ll leave you all
There are hallways to be walked in and problems to be solved
I would give you my number, but I know you’ll never call
The loneliest cat to ever walk in the hall.



(I stole the pic from Patti Haskins)